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It is through the hands of the Virgin Mary that I received my vocation. I went to Lourdes in 1997 working as a doctor and I was the one healed! As a Plastic surgeon I had enjoyed my career so much, trying to reconstruct various wounds but Jesus, the ‘Good Doctor’, asked me to reconstruct his people.
To become a nun...I can honestly say that that thought never entered into my mind. Although my Mum is convinced that my becoming a nun is because of watching the sound of music time and time again, it doesn't make sense because she ends up getting married! I got a surprise once when I was about 19 years old when a somebody who I I had just met asked me very innocently whether I had ever thought about becoming a religious sister. I don't know how longed I looked at her for, but inside of me I was thinking what on earth do you see in me that would make you think that I would want to become a nun? I was quite offended by the question. But I answered very politely - no. But that question obviously got stuck in me and it opened up a possibility of a way of life I had never thought about. So how did I get to where I am now? A religious sister of the Verbum Dei Missionary Fraternity studying theology in Berkley, California. I could give you the long version or the short version...you will probably stop reading the long version so I'll give you the short one!!!
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When I tell my vocation story, basically, I will be telling God’s salvation history in my life. It is a journey of finding my identity, finding ME. It is also a journey to discover that God wants that ME and had always wanted that real, basic, solid me that dwells deep within me to come out. It is that ME in me that kept crying out to be shown, to be given a voice. It is that restlessness that embarks me on my journey, even before I have words to describe any of these experiences. I was born and raised in Malaysia, in a comfortably comfortable family. Life was rather easy and smooth, but that smoothness smothers the search for more in life. It was easy to go with the flow, to conform to being the best according to my intellectual capacity. I was a Quantity Surveyor for a while, but the professional title, plus all my other achievements, education, all the stuff that I used to put on my CVs often seem like decorations that I hung on myself. They say something about me, but at the same time, they distract me from being able to formulate who I am, really. Sometimes, I get scared too. Beyond all those decorations, do I really matter? Who am I, if I shed all those trinkets?
The change to a more pastoral setting has been a wonderful breath of fresh air. Of course the language is a bit of a problem. We have great fun in German class… Hopefully some day in the next couple of years I will actually be able to say something sensible and say it fluently. Until then I guess it is a question of facing the normal humiliation which comes with following the Lord's call to other parts. I wonder if Abraham had such problems after he left his homeland behind?! I can't say that it is easy to be learning yet another language, with yet another new start. And yes I do admit that there are times when I get to remembering my 10 years in England with great fondness and yes I also admit that there are times I wish I was there. I remember of course how easy it was to communicate, not only speaking but also understanding how to read between the lines… I remember so many wonderful people and wonderful friendships. But little by little I am finding my feet here. The culture has some really beautiful aspects. The people are unbelievably friendly and helpful. Family, friendship and fun are all important values which makes Germany a great place to live. The Christmas atmosphere is very visible at the moment with what they call Christmas markets where they sell all kinds of very elegant Christmas gifts, decorations, and lots of handmade arts and crafts, and of course mulled wine and German Christmas food specialities. In the centre of it all of course is the crib. It is very beautiful. So on that note I would like to wish you all a wonderful Christmas, with our Lord and a fruitful and holy New Year!
Anne
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